If you remain silent on pressing issues because you don’t want to “rock the boat” or offend others, don’t pretend that it's out of the goodness of your heart. It’s out of cowardice or unenlightened self-interest—altruism is nowhere in sight. You’re deciding that safeguarding your fragile social equilibrium is more important than communicating what you actually think or feel.

 You’re afraid of speaking candidly; you expect that the reactions you’ll provoke will prove problematic for you somehow. It is only self-interest. There are circumstances where it is best to keep silent, of course, but this needn't involve the self-deception of pretending we're doing it from kindness. True kindness is giving people what they need to move forward in a healthy way, not what they think they want; it is far kinder to challenge nonsense than to feign agreement. People nowadays, perhaps more than ever in history, are starved of honesty and courage, of calling a spade a spade. Holding back perfectly valid objections to the ever-increasing range of lunatic beliefs that gallavant through our public discourse is not healthy for you or anyone else.

 When we really respect someone we’ll be honest with them in a tactful way, we won’t shrink away and mutter to ourselves how noble we are for “being nice” or “being supportive.” We won't let them go down a perilous and foolish road to spare ourselves some fleeting discomfort.

 "For though we love both the truth and our friends, piety requires us to honor the truth first."

  — Aristotle