"When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
- Alexander Graham Bell
Opportunities inevitably arise when our hopes and ambitions are dashed, even if it seems, for a while, a horrible and hopeless situation. How likely we are to recognize and seize those opportunities is directly proportional to how quickly we bounce back from our despondency. The more inclined we are to lapse into self-pity and rumination the more blind we become to fortuitous circumstances, the more time and energy we bleed away pointlessly.
When a plant lacks adequate sunlight it will expend what energy it has growing and shifting toward whatever part of its environment is best illuminated. It will tenaciously seek that which it needs with the resources it has available. How much more fragile and foolish plants would be if, when robbed of the light they desire, they curled up within themselves, enfolding their leaves, restricting their growth and worsening the problem. Yet this is precisely what so many of us are inclined to do, is it not? If the balmy luminance of our hopes and dreams has suddenly shifted away and left us, is it wise to sit and sulk in the darkness? There may be an even more wondrous possibility beaming just down the road, but we'll never know it if we grieve excessively for that which we lost.
It's natural and healthy to feel disappointment and sadness when something we longed for is no longer a living possibility. When a beloved ship has sailed and it's plain that it won't return, heartache is to be expected, and it would be unwise to flee from it or to attempt repressing it. On the contrary, we ought to immerse ourselves in it and come to understand it. It is only by facing it head-on with candor and courage that we're able to learn from it, to transmute it into a blessing.
Did your business go under, did you fail that entry exam, did the person you fantasized about loving find you unworthy? Perhaps you trained for years with all that you could muster and, when a decisive moment came, it was not enough? It's understandable that these things could spiritually cripple us. They can make it seem that we're fundamentally flawed or inadequate, that we don't deserve the success, happiness or love we long for. And yet, what lays one person low for a lifetime may only diminish another for a few hours or days. The crucial difference between those two people is the manner in which they react to and process that searing disenchantment. To get the most out of life we must engrain the habit of experiencing these pangs of the heart fully and fearlessly, buoyed and balanced by the unclouded apprehension that we will emerge from them wiser, stronger and more attuned to what is truly good for us, though the journey may prove a painful one.
The alternative is to sit and glumly stare at the door which has been rudely slammed in our faces, gazing wearily as vines of poison ivy slowly crawl across and encase it; occasionally lashing out in anger and frustration, futilely striking it, managing only to bloody our hands and cover ourselves in the hideous rash of resentment. It's plain enough to me which way we ought to go.